Sleeping Beauty!

There is something with this little one that makes it so hard for me to leave her or put her down. Maybe it was the pregnancy, or maybe I know that I won't be doing this again. Whatever it is, I want to hold on to every second!

Up All Night!

Back to bed and holding my breath! I'm not a fan of seeing the clock at this hour!

Good Helper

What a great girl. My girls are really working on knowing what their jobs are and getting in and getting them done. Molly may have her own way of doing things (like putting it all on the counter and then putting it all away, but hey it gets done! Way to go Mo Money! Sure love you!

My little artist!

This was Stella's art work she left on the wall at the Dr. office! Did I mention that this was done with dry erase crayons? Nice. I turned my head to watch Molly walk to the bathroom. When I turned back that is part of what I found! AWESOME!

This is what she did later.... I started to wash it off before I took the pictures. Both of her arms were covered from the bottom of her sleeve to the tips of her fingers! This was done with dry erase markers. She told Molly that these were her "Tattoos"! Really? Oh boy! Kris and I spent Kris' lunch break looking up "Painful tattoos" on YouTube! I think we did a first rate job at freaked them both out!

Aw......

The end of a very long day!

she had a few good quotes for today.

After scrubbing her arms almost raw trying to get off ALL of her artwork while she showered we got her out and put on her pink jammies and she said...

"I love these jammies, they are so warm... and I never want to get a tattoo."

Later that night she had been asleep for about 2 hours. She got up. While trying to get her back to bed she said

Stella: "But I can't see my room."

Me: "It's in the same place it's always been"

I know right? how funny am I?

Bed Head!

Here is what I found when I went to get Nora this morning! Love that bed head!

Stella Art!

Stella got to learn all about penguins at preschool today! Look at her cute penguin she made!

Just Dance

Get your dance on! We had a great time playing Just Dance 3! Awesome low key day!

These girls are so funny and fun to watch dance!

Best Article Ever!

So while commiserating on the phone with a friend today about how hard our jobs as moms are and you never know if your doing it right she made reference to this article and I had her email it to me. It's a good reminder to me and I LOVE it! It's real and I can totally relate. I'm posting it here so that I can read it over and over and and know I'm not the only one that feels this way!

By Glennon Melton

Every time I'm out with my kids -- this seems to happen:

An older woman stops us, puts her hand over her heart and says something like, "Oh, Enjoy every moment. This time goes by so fast."

Everywhere I go, someone is telling me to seize the moment, raise my awareness, be happy, enjoy everysecond, etc, etc, etc.

I know that this message is right and good. But, I have finally allowed myself to admit that it just doesn't work for me. It bugs me. This CARPE DIEM message makes me paranoid and panicky. Especially during this phase of my life - while I'm raising young kids. Being told, in a million different ways to CARPE DIEM makes me worry that if I'm not in a constant state of intense gratitude and ecstasy, I'm doing something wrong.

I think parenting young children (and old ones, I've heard) is a little like climbing Mount Everest. Brave, adventurous souls try it because they've heard there's magic in the climb. They try because they believe that finishing, or even attempting the climb are impressive accomplishments. They try because during the climb, if they allow themselves to pause and lift their eyes and minds from the pain and drudgery, the views are breathtaking. They try because even though it hurts and it's hard, there are moments that make it worth the hard. These moments are so intense and unique that many people who reach the top start planning, almost immediately, to climb again. Even though any climber will tell you that most of the climb is treacherous, exhausting, killer. That they literally cried most of the way up.

And so I think that if there were people stationed, say, every thirty feet along Mount Everest yelling to the climbers -- "ARE YOU ENJOYING YOURSELF!? IF NOT, YOU SHOULD BE! ONE DAY YOU'LL BE SORRY YOU DIDN'T!" TRUST US!! IT'LL BE OVER TOO SOON! CARPE DIEM!" -- those well-meaning, nostalgic cheerleaders might be physically thrown from the mountain.

Now. I'm not suggesting that the sweet old ladies who tell me to ENJOY MYSELF be thrown from a mountain. These are wonderful ladies. Monkees, probably. But last week, a woman approached me in the Target line and said the following: "Sugar, I hope you are enjoying this. I loved every single second of parenting my two girls. Every single moment. These days go by so fast."

At that particular moment, Amma had arranged one of the new bras I was buying on top of her sweater and was sucking a lollipop that she must have found on the ground. She also had three shop-lifted clip-on neon feathers stuck in her hair. She looked exactly like a contestant from Toddlers and Tiaras. I couldn't find Chase anywhere, and Tish was grabbing the pen on the credit card swiper thing WHILE the woman in front of me was trying to use it. And so I just looked at the woman, smiled and said, "Thank you. Yes. Me too. I am enjoying every single moment. Especially this one. Yes. Thank you."

That's not exactly what I wanted to say, though.

There was a famous writer who, when asked if he loved writing, replied, "No. but I love having written." What I wanted to say to this sweet woman was, "Are you sure? Are you sure you don't mean you love having parented?"

I love having written. And I love having parented. My favorite part of each day is when the kids are put to sleep (to bed) and Craig and I sink into the couch to watch some quality TV, like Celebrity Wife Swap, and congratulate each other on a job well done. Or a job done, at least.

Every time I write a post like this, I get emails suggesting that I'm being negative. I have received this particular message four or five times -- G, if you can't handle the three you have, why do you want a fourth?

That one always stings, and I don't think it's quite fair. Parenting is hard. Just like lots of important jobs are hard. Why is it that the second a mother admits that it's hard, people feel the need to suggest that maybe she's not doing it right? Or that she certainly shouldn't add more to her load. Maybe the fact that it's so hard means she IS doing it right...in her own way...and she happens to be honest.

Craig is a software salesman. It's a hard job in this economy. And he comes home each day and talks a little bit about how hard it is. And I don't ever feel the need to suggest that he's not doing it right, or that he's negative for noticing that it's hard, or that maybe he shouldn't even consider taking on more responsibility. And I doubt anybody comes by his office to make sure he's ENJOYING HIMSELF. I doubt his boss peeks in his office and says: "This career stuff...it goes by so fast...ARE YOU ENJOYING EVERY MOMENT IN THERE, CRAIG???? CARPE DIEM, CRAIG!"

My point is this. I used to worry that not only was I failing to do a good enough job at parenting, but that I wasn't enjoying it enough. Double failure. I felt guilty because I wasn't in parental ecstasy every hour of every day and I wasn't MAKING THE MOST OF EVERY MOMENT like the mamas in the parenting magazines seemed to be doing. I felt guilty because honestly, I was tired and cranky and ready for the day to be over quite often. And because I knew that one day, I'd wake up and the kids would be gone, and I'd be the old lady in the grocery store with my hand over my heart. Would I be able to say I enjoyed every moment? No.

But the fact remains that I will be that nostalgic lady. I just hope to be one with a clear memory. And here's what I hope to say to the younger mama gritting her teeth in line:

"It's helluva hard, isn't it? You're a good mom, I can tell. And I like your kids, especially that one peeing in the corner. She's my favorite. Carry on, warrior. Six hours till bedtime." And hopefully, every once in a while, I'll add -- "Let me pick up that grocery bill for ya, sister. Go put those kids in the van and pull on up -- I'll have them bring your groceries out."

Anyway. Clearly, Carpe Diem doesn't work for me. I can't even carpe fifteen minutes in a row, so a whole diem is out of the question.

Here's what does work for me:

There are two different types of time. Chronos time is what we live in. It's regular time, it's one minute at a time, it's staring down the clock till bedtime time, it's ten excruciating minutes in the Target line time, it's four screaming minutes in time out time, it's two hours till daddy gets home time. Chronos is the hard, slow passing time we parents often live in.

Then there's Kairos time. Kairos is God's time. It's time outside of time. It's metaphysical time. It's those magical moments in which time stands still. I have a few of those moments each day. And I cherish them.

Like when I actually stop what I'm doing and really look at Tish. I notice how perfectly smooth and brownish her skin is. I notice the perfect curves of her teeny elf mouth and her asianish brown eyes, and I breathe in her soft Tishy smell. In these moments, I see that her mouth is moving but I can't hear her because all I can think is -- This is the first time I've really seen Tish all day, and my God -- she is sobeautiful. Kairos.

Like when I'm stuck in chronos time in the grocery line and I'm haggard and annoyed and angry at the slow check-out clerk. And then I look at my cart and I'm transported out of chronos. And suddenly I notice the piles and piles of healthy food I'll feed my children to grow their bodies and minds and I remember that most of the world's mamas would kill for this opportunity. This chance to stand in a grocery line with enough money to pay. And I just stare at my cart. At the abundance. The bounty. Thank you, God. Kairos.

Or when I curl up in my cozy bed with Theo asleep at my feet and Craig asleep by my side and I listen to them both breathing. And for a moment, I think- how did a girl like me get so lucky? To go to bed each night surrounded by this breath, this love, this peace, this warmth? Kairos.

These kairos moments leave as fast as they come- but I mark them. I say the word kairos in my head each time I leave chronos. And at the end of the day, I don't remember exactly what my kairos moments were, but I remember I had them. And that makes the pain of the daily parenting climb worth it.

If I had a couple Kairos moments during the day, I call it a success.

Carpe a couple of Kairoses a day.

Good enough for me.

Crazy Girls

K tell me this picture doesn't look like a move out of that 80's music video? I don't even know what one it is, but the one where she is on the chair and pulls the cord and the water comes poring down! She had been doing this all day! So funny! I just kept thinking of that video.

Oh a more somber note... This was Stella all day!

Happy Birthday to me!

Solids!

How much do I love this baby? She is so great! Really she is absolutely perfect in every way!

She is almost 7 months and I keep telling people she is 6 months, she is, but I just have such a hard time thinking that this is all moving so fast.

Here we are trying solids on for size. I have tried a little on and off for the past month, but she has not really been interested in it at all. I have not pushed it. Thinking that was a milestone that we could dodge for a while. But I think we are to the point I really need to get her eating solids! Today was the beginning of our new routine! Wow! I wish these moments would slow down a bit.

New Years!

This New years eve was spent at my brother and his wife's house! They were so nice to let us all come over hang out and provide me with a whole try of Costco salted caramels! (Really I think I ate the whole thing, so good and every lb I gained was totally worth it;) They had the most darling set up, Sierra did such a great job on making us all feel special with the set up and all of the fun stuff they did! She is a great entertainer! I am the lamest person ever and realized I had left my camera at home when we were almost there... BOO! Sierra sent us a cute thank you note with this pic of Nora so I thought I would call this good for New Years Eve! Thanks for the photo shoot Sierra! I also stole this pic off her blog so you could see the cute set up she had going! So fun, delicious and beautiful! It was the perfect way to ring in the new year. So here were highlights of the evening. We ate like I said my favorite hat to be the salted caramels, but everything was amazing! We played games, chatted, my kids tortured their dog Elenore, Stella pulled the plug on the countdown (Cam was way nice about it and had it up and going for the count down) And then the new year was rung in by fun horns, poppers and confetti that Sierra had gotten! It was so much fun for all of us! Thanks for a great party!